


No Matter What

by PerfectlyHopeless



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Modern Setting, One-Shot, basically Jean is stressing and Marco is there for support because that's how these things always go, the result of a tumblr prompt, they're seniors in high school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyHopeless/pseuds/PerfectlyHopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one wants to grow up, and it's even harder when you have no clue what you want to do when you grow up.</p><p>(result of a tumblr dialogue prompt "where are you!?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I've returned with another one-shot~ These things always get pretty good feedback, so here's one that kinda hit home on a couple issues I'm sure some of you have gone though/are going through. I hope you guys don't cry this time ^_^;;
> 
> Dialogue prompt I was given was "where are you!?", so this is what came of it. Enjoy~

* * *

 

The cool night air filled Jean’s lungs as he stepped out of his truck and stood at the edge of the cliff. From there he could hear the waves of the water that crashed against the shore over a hundred feet below him. He looked down, testing himself. The thought of a possible drop caused his chest to tighten, letting loose a little adrenaline as he ran through scenarios in his head that involved his demise.

He quickly came to his senses, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat and taking a step back so he could to return to the truck.

Jean closed his amber eyes and breathed deeply, as though it would alleviate some of the stress he was feeling. The older teen climbed into the bed of the truck and flipped the hood of his sweater up over his head as he lied down, allowing the comfortable cotton hoodie that was too big for him to swallow his scrawny frame.

All he wanted was to break off from reality. To not have to deal with anything until he felt as though he could finally deal with things.

 _I hate everything,_ he decided at that moment.  _I hate growing up, I hate that I snapped and ran off, and I hate that I know any moment now he’s going to call…_

As if on cue his phone started ringing in his pocket. Jean let out a sigh and pulled out the phone, Marco’s picture on the screen as it rang.

_Please don’t do this right now…_

Nevertheless Jean answered, clearing his throat and saying, “Hello?”

“Jean! Where are you!? I tried calling your house but your mom said that you weren’t home, what happened?”

A smile tugged his lips upward and he laughed lightly. “Marco, calm down,” he said. “It’s fine. I just… needed a break.”

A sigh could be heard from the other side as Marco started muttering something under his breath. “Okay, but still. Where did you go?”

“I’m by the cliffs. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna jump or anything...”

“I’m coming,” Marco declared, cutting him off.

Jean made a choking sound and his eyes widened. “Y-You don’t have to…”

“Nope, no arguing. Just stay there, I’m going to you and you’re going to rant and I’m going to listen because if whatever happened was so bad that you had to leave the house then that means you’ve got something to say.”

Jean sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “Marco…”

“Don’t, I’m coming. I’m hanging up now so I can drive, now stay put.”

The line went dead and Jean groaned loudly, putting his face in his hands.  _You idiot…_

It didn’t take too much time for Marco to get to the cliffs. It was a popular tourist spot, but considering it was late autumn there weren’t a lot of people coming to cliff dive at this point. For him it was a place to relax and see the night sky. There was so much natural beauty to be found in the stars, and as haunting as he found it they also held a calming sense of peace. He could feel his stress melting away by the time he heard Marco drive up.

 A car door opened and closed and soon Jean’s truck shifted. He looked over and found Marco getting into the back of the truck. The freckle face brushed his dark brown bangs out of his face and adjusted his sweater. Their gazes met and he offered the blond a smile.

“Scoot over,” Marco said, getting lower and moving so that he was lying parallel to Jean.

Jean shifted slightly and relaxed as Marco laid beside him, the freckled boy reaching over to take his companion’s hand. They’re fingers intertwined and Jean moved closer, positioning himself against his friend so that their forms fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

“You know me too well,” Jean said as he stared back up at the stars.

“I’ve known you since we were in the first grade,” Marco reminded him, laughing lightly.

He breathed deeply and allowed a smile to pull his lips upward. “Yeah. You know, I still remember the day we met. Hitch was picking on you about your freckles and I stopped fighting with Eren long enough to tell her to back off.”

Marco laughed again, his free hand reaching up to touch his cheeks, fingers tracing over freckles. “She’s never liked many people, did she?”

“Not really,” Jean said.

A few moments of silence passed as they got comfortable. Jean had moved sideways at some point, using Marco’s chest as a pillow while his legs were propped up on the sides of the truck. Marco started playing with Jean’s hair at that point, allowing his fingers to tangle with the sandy blond mop on his boyfriend’s head. It caused Jean to relax until he was on the verge of falling asleep.

Sighing, Jean opened his tired eyes and took notice of a small shooting star. It seemed childish to try and make wishes on it, he was 17 after all, but he couldn’t help it.

“Marco,” he started. The brunet briefly paused what he was doing and looked over at him. “What are you gonna do when we’re done with high school?”

Confused, Marco started, “Why …?”

Jean cut him off, “Please, just answer the question.”

He was silent for a moment. “I’m not entirely sure. I mean, I got accepted to the university. But I don’t know what to do after that. Maybe major in English, or something like that.”

The blond nodded. “You’re lucky, you know that? You could do anything you want. You’re an incredible writer, you’re good at math and other stuff like that … Anything…”

“Jean…”

“I’m not like that, you know?” Jean’s throat felt dry and scratchy as he swallowed, a lump forming in his throat as he went on. “I can’t do any of that shit. I barely got accepted and I have no fucking idea what I’m gonna do afterwards. I can’t do art like I want to, because who gets anywhere with that? I’m… I’m just a failure…”

There was a moment of silence, broken by Marco’s gentle voice. “Is that what you and your parents argued about? About what you’re gonna do in college?”

Jean sniffed back tears, palming at his face while cursing under his breath. He cleared his throat again. “Y-Yeah. They told me to grow the fuck up. To realize that I’ve only got a handful of months left here and that I need to figure it out. As if I didn’t already fucking know that…”

Marco didn’t say anything, knowing better. He took hold of Jean’s hand again, giving it a squeeze and running his thumb across his knuckles. Jean sniffled again and coughed lightly, getting closer to the other.

“I-I just wish they’d stop,” he continued. “I wish they’d fucking stop. I’m stressed out enough as it is, I can’t take it anymore. I’d rather graduate and be thrown into college now, just to get them to shut the hell up. Like, I’ll figure things out later. Just let me be a teenager for a little longer…”

“Jean, if you need some time away from your family, you’re welcome to stay with me,” Marco reminded him.

He nodded, sniffing again. “I know, but I need to figure this out on my own. Probably not anytime soon, but I’ll manage.”

The brunet gave the other’s hand a squeeze again. “If you’re sure.”

“Not exactly, but I’ll get around to that point eventually.” Jean sat up and shifted around, bringing his legs down and leaning over to kiss his boyfriend. Marco’s face warmed and he closed his eyes, catching Jean’s lips. They pulled back and Jean couldn't help but notice the abstract constellations on Marco's cheeks.

“You seem eager for a distraction,” Marco teased, a smile pulling at his freckled face. Jean’s cheeks flushed and he buried his face in the brunet’s shoulder. Marco shifted and pressed his forehead against the other’s, moving to kiss him again.

Jean smiled as they kissed and nuzzled against his boyfriend, loving that he could call his best friend that. Loving that they could lie together like this. And kiss and hug and all of that. He loved that no matter how stressed out he felt, Marco could make him feel better.

And he loved that despite the uncertainty that came with the future, no matter what kind of vision he had for it, Marco was always there with him. He knew that no matter what happened they’d be together.


End file.
